Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
Ronald Reagan
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Brooke Shields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
Alfred Hitchcock
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
David Ogilvy
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
Natalie Wood
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
Voltaire
The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.
Dustin Hoffman
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Joe E. Lewis
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry A. Kissinger
There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.
Casey Stengel
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Josh Billings
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
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